The Testimony of Ron Browning

Association of Exchanged Life Ministries

AELM – April 2010

Thank you… It has been a sweet fellowship to be here with you.  My wife, Hope and I both have discussed the wonder and joy of being with men and women who are like-minded about grace.

I will be using my notes here because if I don’t we may still be here at midnight.    

For those of you who do not know my name, I am Ron Browning and my beautiful loving bride, Hope, is God’s excellent grace toward me. 

As Ralph began our time together Thursday evening illustrating the blocker and projector lifestyle, using the chameleon to illustrate, I felt as though he was speaking directly to me.

I came here with just that mentality.  I was not necessarily aware of it but at the same time I was.  I have been so hungry for others who believe the message of the Cross that I found myself wanting to just fit in.  So Ralph was speaking directly to me on Thursday night.   

So with total honesty, without that old fleshly chameleon, I speak to you from my heart because I do fit in to Jesus’ Life.  ….because of me?  No!  Because of Him! 

Some of you have heard me sharing about the ministry of NewHeart Expressions and how the Lord uses me to disciple others who are sexually broken; primarily men desiring to break free from the gay life. 

…16 years ago I was a liar, a professional thief, and a gay man.  But PRAISE God on October 31^st (yes that would be on Halloween); on October 31, 1994 Jesus captured me with His grace and set me free. 

Over the following 8 years God used the courts and our legal system to teach me how to tell the truth;

from there, fraudulent crime (stealing) faded into a distant memory;

however, the lie of homosexuality was a more difficult giant to battle. 

The journey into behavioral freedom from the gay life came immediately; but still, I thought and felt like a gay man. 

It was not until 2001 that I recognized the Lord changing, not only my choice of behavior, but my very thoughts and feelings as well.  My prayer for over a decade and David’s declaration from Psalm 23 – "the Lord restores my soul” became my daily experience.

Now what did that look like? 

Since our arrival Thursday afternoon some of you have asked me some very pointed questions about coming out of the gay life. 

It’s never about theft

It’s never about the lies

And it’s never about my years as a con artist…

It’s always about coming of the gay life!

Then last night I was asked – if the original programming of "being gay” is really gone from my brain.  My fallen-in-sin-brain with the propensity for any sin…  What a debate!  Science, History, Medicine, Genetics, Theology, Scripture, etc. all are called to the table when one opens this can of worms. 

What I will testify to is my own experience of God and His Word.  Father God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit have written the truth upon my heart and I now think, choose, and feel like a pure and faithful man of God, a pure and faithful husband to my wife, and as a discipler of men who loves it, when a man finds freedom in Christ from whatever bondage plays havoc with and in their lives.

I openly declare that God has set me free!  Free from lying, stealing, and homosexuality.  And I generally begin these relationships with discussions about what behavioral freedom looks like; and then as Jesus is experienced I share more with them about the possibilities of knowing and experiencing Christ not only as Lord but Life and Liberator.

One of the main issues dealing with men coming out of the gay life both in the Church and outside the Church is cultural identity. 

Most sin issues are not encumbered by an identity crisis beyond exchanging our sinner identity for the righteous identity we now possess in Jesus. 

But the average person in the Western world, no longer considers homosexuality wrong.  We have all been taught to be tolerant and accepting. 

This cultural identity crisis sometimes provides an easier path for strugglers to find freedom in Christ; and often makes it all the more difficult.    

Let’s now return to my story… 

At the close of 2002, as I became aware that I no longer thought or felt like a gay man (nor did I choose to live in gay activity), the Lord showed me even another great mercy.  Remember I used to be a liar and a professional thief.  But God is absolutely awesome in how much He cares for me.  Crimes across 16 states were reduced to 12 convictions in only five states. 

The Lord continued the process of changing my thoughts, choices, and feelings –

really my very life

just like He promised in Ezekiel 36;

…which reads beginning in verse 25:

"Then I will sprinkle clean water on you,

and you will be clean. (Hallelujah!)

Your filth will be washed away,

and you will no longer worship idols. 

And I will give you a new heart,

and I will put a new spirit in you.

I will take out your stony, stubborn heart

and give you a tender, responsive heart.

God’s Word is true and I stand here today as a testimony of God’s veracity!

…and life-changing power…

By the end of 2002 I had completed all the courts judgments and requirements: 25 years reduced to 4^1/2 years.  It was a rollercoaster of grace and mercy – or to some, just amazed shock!

However, for me, my prison years were not wasted.  You see, I never attended seminary; I got to attend "prisionary”.  (How many of you would like to do that? 

Well …I don’t recommend it!

Talk about the chameleon – the blocking and projecting pattern… when the gangs on a prison yard were watching, you never stop to mention "…well I used to be gay…”  At least I didn’t.  Sometimes there is such a thing with a common sense fear.)

During those 4^1/2 years behind bars, I enrolled in Mount Zion Bible Institute just to pass the time (or so I thought); but those studies introduced me to a deeper relationship with Christ.

My Dad has been a Baptist preacher for as long as I can remember; and that was the last thing I ever wanted to do!!!

Growing up Dad drilled the Scriptures into my head but they never made it to my heart and into my experience. 

But during those biblical studies while in prison, God was in the process of exchanging how I think, how I would choose, and even how I feel for He thinks, chooses, and yes, how He feels!    

Over those years of exchange my professors began to communicate with me they felt I had the heart of the Pastor; for which I felt completely unworthy.        

Shortly after my release from prison I

visited an Exchanged Life ministry in Pigeon Forge Tennessee, where I met two godly men who began to explain

·         what God had been doing within the depths of my heart,

·         and had worked out in my daily experience,

·         introducing me to Exchanged Life truths. 

Over the following months, these men were instrumental in

·         my spiritual growth;

·         and helped me design and incorporate NewHeart Expressions as an Exchanged Life ministry;

to serve as a platform where I would be allowed to reach many captives and see them set free by Jesus and His truth. 

Remember Ezekiel 36?

"I (God) will give you a new heart…” 

This verse became the very passion of my life and for my ministry. 

Over the next few years God privileged and honored me to disciple a plethora of men coming out of the gay life or some type of a shattered identity. 

Many of them came into discipleship as Believers; but a few were not yet converted. 

Of course, all were stuck living somewhere in the desert of sexual brokenness;

and these life choices had destroyed their lives,

relationships,  

and in some instances their ministries, just as it had mine…

Then in 2005, God’s blessing seemed the strongest;

·         as my family and I embarked upon a three month tour from Miami to Anchorage,

sharing the message of the Cross;

·         speaking primarily to Churches, Christian Schools, and some Christian ministries –

·         declaring freedom and change are possible and HOW that could be their experience too!

On our return from Canada, after a month in conference there, my family and I were involved in a tragic automobile accident, in which I suffered a traumatic brain injury. 

(NOW… that’s one sure way to get me to slow down, folks…)

All 8 of us on that trip (my wife and our 6 children) survived that accident but suffered permanent injuries and losses, for which we spent the following 2 to 3 years in ongoing treatment. 

In the midst of this turmoil, my wife, in the scope of her injuries and medications, was no longer able to live with a brain injured man and its effects.  She and our 6 children moved out of state, ultimately resulting in our divorce.

So the last 5 years have held many losses for me –

a decade or more of memory,

physical strength and stamina,

much cognitive functioning,

emotional stability,

relationships,

and a plethora of other treasures. 

Ruth Myers quoted what has become one

of my most favorite phrases in poetry,

"Each loss is truest gain if, day by day, He (i.e. Jesus) fills the place of all He takes away”. 

My friends, isn’t God good!!!

Well, let me prove how good God is in just one area. 

Almost two years ago, I met a wonderful godly woman and married her. 

Hope is the very opposite of anyone I would have ever dreamed could function as my friend…

          …much less my wife –

…of all things, she has the gift of mercy and a soft personality to match. 

For one (like me) with the gift of exhortation – how do we ever get along? 

But we do!  …and Hope is my best friend!  …and so much more…     

Abba Father knows our needs; and He delights in meeting those needs. 

By the way, "Hope never disappoints”! (NEVER!!!)

Hope is fully aware of my brain injury (it’s kind of obvious, isn’t it) and my awful past – and she still loves me!!! 

As I said – God is good!  And Hope says, the Lord must have a good sense of humor in putting us together.

Certainly, I’m not what I was before 05.05.05 at 5am

(I am much slower…)

…but God continues to use me in His plan to transform lives. 

It is exciting to see another person "get it”

(most of us know that experience don’t we?). 

…to see another person "get it”

To see one set free from the giants that overwhelm their lives.   

When the eyes shine with understanding, I am humbled by what God can do…

…and what God does…    

Hope and I serve together in worship at our Church. 

I continue to disciple sexually broken men and…

I am in the process of redeveloping the ministry God birthed before my head injury – NewHeart Expressions

…not into what I used to do but into what God has given me LIFE to do now.    

How can I share all that God has and continues to do my life (in less than 15 minutes)? 

Impossible!!! (there isn’t any amount of time in which I can express the wonders of my God and the new heart He has given me and so many others through me; there’s just no way; so I will say:

Jesus died to bring me forgiveness of my awful grotesque sin and to give me His pure and blameless Life. 

The message and experience of the CROSS is beyond imagination and abundance…

…to experience God’s presence from within

…to be empowered to cooperate with His BEST; meaning the strategic truth of His Word.       

Remember Ezekiel 36?

I (God) will give you a new heart,

and I will put a new spirit in you.

I will take out your stony, stubborn heart

and give you a tender, responsive heart. 

It has been an honor to share with you what God has and is doing in my life. 

To spend a weekend with men and women who understand, experience, and 3 teach grace and truth is a great and wonderful privilege. 

So I close this testimony of Jesus Christ with a simple –THANK YOU!